Little yellow flowers

I have written who knows how many blog post in my head over the past year... and none of them have made it into a post.
Just over the past week I have really felt the pull to get back to blogging.
So here I am putting my thoughts into words.

Here is the story of The Little Fists Full of Flowers.
Yesterday my Littles came running inside, each holding a fist full of flowers.
'Here mom. We picked these for you.'
My heart just melted, like it does so often.
Their choice of flowers were what many chose to call weeds but to them they were the best gift that they could think of to give to... ME.

What my two Littles did not know... I had been watching them over the past few minutes, running around the yard picking every flower they could find.
As I watched them I had the biggest smile on my face.
They are just so amazing.
When the came running inside to show me their gift, I think my smile got even bigger.
I filled a jar with water and placed each hand picked flower into it.
Each flower was very unique and picked with love.

As we drove by a large empty field that evening The Little Man stared out the window in AW.
'LOOK mom. Look at all those flowers we could pick.'
Yes son life is full of flowers you can pick. You just have to have eyes to look for them.
And not only do you need eyes to see them but you need to reach out and grab them.
And when you have them its best to give them away with love.

Our new adventure

Well things are changing and changing fast for our family.
We decided just after the first of the year to place our house on the market. There were many reasons we wanted to sell and they all fit into one nice umbrella- Our house was just not fitting our families needs anymore.

So after just three short days on the market we got two offers on it.
I was a little overwhelmed. I was not expecting this.
We accepted one of the offers and now the waiting begins.
Since we are selling short sale it was still be a few months before we have to be out but still much faster than I had expected.
Where do we plan to go now, you might ask. Well we are going to down size for a while and move in with a friend until the perfect piece of property comes onto market. We are looking for a nice size lot that we can turn into our family homestead/ farm.
I am very excited for our new adventure. Its not all about the grand price its about the adventure we take to get there.
So, one day we will have a house of our own again but until then we will enjoy the road that takes us there.

A new year

It's a new year so why not start it off with a new blog post.
We have had some very low key days since the busy days surrounding Christmas.
This morning was so bright and beautiful so we bundled up, each with multiple pants, and packed into the family car and headed out to enjoy the day.
The Hubby was able to get some kite flying in as The Little Man rode his bike and I was able to do some walking while The Little Lady rode on my back in the Ergo.
The Little Mans {big} Christmas gift was an elaborated baseball card and clothespin that has a muffler to boost the sound. It's called a turbo{something} booster maybe. The name does not really matter all that much what really matters is that The Little Man thinks it cool. So he was very excited to ride his bike around today. He got many looks and a few comments about it.
The Little Lady had her trike also but she was more excited to just watch the kites and be held. I was fine with holding her or wearing her since I could use the extra calories I was burning and also the extra body heat.
After only being there for an hour we were so cold I was glad I thought to bring cocoa and tea.
I am excited to see what this new year will bring and hopefully show up here on the blog more often then not.
Welcome 2013

Jam making

Today a friend and I made an impromptu trip down to a local farm to get berries.
We put my two kids' cars seats into her mini van and us and the five kids were off to the farm. Before we left we called to make sure there were still strawberries. Since our strawberry season here has been very strange this year.
When we got down there not only did they have lots of berries they also had yesterday's berries for five dollars less. They were just perfectly ripe and ready for jam making.
I got a flat and a half of strawberries and a half flat of raspberries.
I was able to can 11 pints of strawberry jam and 5 pints of strawberry raspberry jam. We even had some leftover to have tonight on shortcake and I froze some raspberries to add to muffins and yogurt.
I love berry season. Soon the blueberries and blackberries will be ripe and it will be time to do more canning.

This moment- Play

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. -Amanda Soule

Childhood play

I might be strange but I just love to watch my kids play.

I never know what kind of adventures they will go on.
It was so cute to watch them play playmobile together today. They packed up the motorhome and truck and went camping. They even took the little plastic people where they had never gone before... into the backyard.
I just love to over hear them talking through these people. Changing their voices for each person and using sayings that I find myself saying often.

Who knew that I would find such joy just watching and listening to them play?!
Being a mom is a true blessing.

Making cookies

While The Little Lady slept, The Little Man and I made cookies.
I wrote out the recipe so that he could read it to me and together we made some very yummy cookies.
I think that the added help from the five year old was the secret ingredient.

Homeschool lesson 1- Butterflies

Today we started our first (of many) lesson on butterflies.
We went over to a friends house and read a story and did a little art project. It may not sound like much but I really felt like The Little Man was catching on to some of the new concepts.
The art project was painting half of a butterfly on one side of the paper then folding it and leaving the print on the other side also. To show the kids how butterflies wings are the same (symmetry).
When I asked The Little Man what he learned about butterflies today he had many responses unlike when I would have him talk about school.
He said-
There are lots of different types of butterflies.
They like flowers.
They lay there small eggs on leaves.

We ordered our own caterpillars to hatch into butterflies this week and they should be here next week. I am super excited to see the look on the kids faces when the butterflies come out of their cocoons.

Saturday morning

My bed was full this morning at 6:45.
But its all good.
Loving life.

Worms

The Little Man found a worm while out playing today.
What is it about little boys and worms? There is like some type of magnetic force that draws them together... along with dirt, bugs and anything that's loud.
Our day was filled full of spring rain showers. Everytime the clouds would lift and the rain would stop it was like a warm hug... that you did not even know you needed.
Hello June.

Five

Yesterday The Little Man turned five.
My baby boy is five. One whole hand.
The Hubby spent the day with him and even went to school with him. The Little man was super excited and enjoyed every minute of it.
When he got home I surprised him with five balloons and card.
We had already talked with him telling him that we were going to do cake and gifts on Saturday.
We even let The Little man pick out what he wanted for dinner. Thanks to advertising he decided to we should have a big box from Pizza Hut.

Tonight both of The Littles are spending the night at The Inlaws.
This is my first night I have ever spent away from The Little lady.
I know she will be just fine but it just feels a little strange.
Tomorrow The Hubby and I are headed out to one of the local neighborhoods since they are having a huge garage sale.
We have gone out to the sales a few years now but this will be our first time venturing out with out kids.
It should be fun.

So I better take advantage of my night to myself and get off the computer.
I will leave with five pictures of The Little Man.

Mothers day 2012

Enjoying the sunshine, family and food today.
Testing out my new iPod.
What a wonderful Mothers day.

Sunshine

Spring in the Pacific Northwest can be all over the place.

Today there were sun breaks, showers, down pours and even hail.

We met some friends at the park this morning. The weather was looking good.

The Little Lady spent most of the time on the swing but came off long enough to stand under the tree while the rain came down. The Little Man and his friend were not really fazed much by the rain. It just added to their fun by creating mud.

It was so nice to get together with a friend that I have not seen for way too long. She even greeted me with a great big hug that lasted 2 minutes.

Soon the rain was coming down in buckets and we had to part ways.

Then it seemed like we spent the next few hours in the car.

We seem to be spending more time in the car but hopefully soon the car will be able to stay parked and we will be able to get out and walk where we need to go.

Until then cars are a great place to take pictures.

These pictures we taken on Saturday when the sun was shining and sunglasses were needed.
Oh sun I know you are still there but its so hard to see you through all of these gray clouds.
Maybe the rain will hold off long enough tomorrow so we can get some seeds into the ground in the garden.
I am glad that my two Littles can me my sunshine's.

Evening in the sunshine

Yesterday the weather was beautiful and too amazing to pass up. So our family went to a local[ish] park to spend the evening flying kites, laying on the blanket and eating take out pizza.
{Picture over load below}

What a wonderful end to a fantastic day.

This Moment

This Moment - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no (a few) words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. -Amanda Soule

(With everything that went on in my life over the past few months, my milk ended up drying up. I was happy yet sad all at the same time. I am glad I was able to nurse my daughter for just over two years. Now she has made it her goal in life to make sure her babies get plenty of 'milk.' My Little Lady is turning into quite a good Lilmama.)

One Month.. One very long month

One month ago I was pregnant with our third child.
One month ago I experience my first miscarriage.
One month ago my heart broke.

Lets back track to almost two months ago.
At the end of February I realized I was pregnant and I did not believe it. I would not take a test. I just kept thinking my period would come even though I knew in my heart that it was not going to come. I was in denial.
Finally one morning I decided it was about time to face reality. So I peed on a stick.
Yup the stick told me what I already knew, I was pregnant.
For about a week after I took that test I was still is such shock. I could not imagine my life with three kids right now. I did not want to be pregnant.

Going into the second week I started to get excited.
I was going to have another baby!
Just when things started looking up... I started bleeding.

The bleeding was off and on for at first.
I was not really concerned to much at first and then one day the bleeding started and it kept getting worst.
I took it easy. I prayed. I cried. I drank tea. I read. I tried to stay positive.
I was standing firm on some scriptures.
Malachi 3:11, Exodus 23:25-26 and Psalms 139:13
I was in communication with the nurses at my Midwifes office but I also knew that there was nothing any of them could do to make this stop.

Then Tuesday happened.
I dont think I will ever be able to forget Tuesday.
It all happened so fast and there was no way to stop it,
When it was over (for the most part) a few hours later I picked myself up and went and made dinner for my family.
I decided right then and there that I was going to be bigger than this.
No one had to tell me that I had a miscarriage. I knew. I was the one that experienced it.
When I heard the nurse say those words a few days later on the phone my heart broke.
But again I picked up the piece because my family needed me and I needed them.

The 'Im bigger than this' mentality worked for a little while but when life slowed down and I realized I am not bigger than this my emotions became all over the place.
Thats where I am at right now.
I keep reminding my self that God wont give me more than I can handle. And then I think why this?
Would I not of been able to handle three kids? Am I not a good enough mom? Is this all because I did not want this baby at the beginning? Why me? Why?
I  just keep thinking about this baby. I wont get to hear its first cry. Or smell its tiny head. Or kiss its button nose. Or tickle its little toes. Or hold it in my arms.
I wont be able to nurse it and watch it grow
Why?

All I have to hold on to is one day when my days on this earth are done I will get to meet this blessing. Then maybe I will be able to hold it in my arms and show it how much I cared.

Talk about kicking me when I am down. Went and saw my Midwife today and now I guess next week I am going in for a D and C.
I could just scream.
I thought that everything was getting back to normal but not yet.

One day I will find a new normal. One day.

After dinner walk

After dinner walks are for...

Pretending your bike is a chopper.

Sporting Mamas bike helmet.

Wearing sun glasses.

Just being with the family.

Long shadows.

What a great way to end the day.